How To Get Rid Of Ghosts

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When you put yourself out to the public as a paranormal investigator, chances are that if you’re willing to tackle residential cases at some point someone may ask you to remove the spirits from a location. Such is the case I’m presenting here now. My history with this investigation goes back a little over two years. When my friend Ant England was stateside and we were filming for Dark Country, I put out the call that I was looking for people to interview regarding paranormal activity in my town. I was put in contact with an elderly lady who claimed to have a ghost in her attic and reported footfalls, whistling, strange aromas, clangs and bangs, and her name being called. So we went to interview her at her house and conducted a couple brief EVP sessions which seemed to at least validate her claims of strange activity. While we were there, she told us of a “ghostchaser” who had came to her house previously and claimed to have moved her ghost on, obviously that didn’t work…

Recently she reached out to me again, but this time she was very specific in wanting me to remove the ghost from her house. Historically speaking, in my years of investigating paranormal claims this is the exact scenario I try to avoid. Because if I’m being honest with myself and everyone involved, and if I’m not a metaphysical delusional batshit nut, this paranormal investigation thing basically offers a diagnostic service at best. I’ve never regarded investigating as a fixer or a cure all for someone who feels haunted. In my mind, the most we can hope to achieve is peace of mind for our clients, whether this is this proving that their home is not haunted or by providing them data that they’re not crazy and may truly be experiencing an unseen force residing with them. But when somebody is 97 years old & asks for some ghostbusting, you can’t tell them no.

So after going into the client’s house for several EVP sessions, we try to establish a line of communication, and then we TRY to negotiate by reasoning with an entity, for lack of a better term, to set parameters between the material and immaterial planes in an effort to defuse the poltergeist-type activity with the client and the unknown. Did this effort settle down the restless spirit, did it get rid of the ghost? If you’re investigating a house and you believe something intelligent is present, maybe it could be reasonable and comply with your requests, right? Then there’s the whole adage of if you were an asshat in life maybe you’re still an asshat after death, and it might go tell you to eff off. Or maybe this haunting is inhuman, and it’s malevolent and dark just there to sow anxiety and discord within the homeowner. Regardless of the scenarios we try to comprehend, the elderly lady here wasn’t scared, just perturbed by the sounds and the smells and her inability to get a good night’s rest. In this case, at best, we captured some class B and C EVPs, and not much of our historical research seemed to tie into our end review, as to the who and the why something else would be residing in that house — we are still left in the dark.

Here’s where the rubber meets the road. There are certain moral and ethical obligations we face when we enter somebody’s home to offer assistance/ guidance with a haunting because ultimately — you’re dealing with either imaginary claims perhaps due to mental illnesses or addiction issues, or some natural explainable occurrences, or maybe you do run into something unexplainable — something truly paranormal. The biggest criticism that PARAHOLICS has faced when releasing our videos of data we’ve collected is our obvious reluctance in cleansing a location or the act of crossing a spirit over. Especially when experimenting with ITC work, you often get a lot of sad replies that ask for help. Are these spirits truly asking for our help? Or could we be being deceived by something we don’t understand? What kind of help can we realistically give? How do you help an unseen spirit? Better yet, what the fuck is a spirit? You only know what a spirit or ghost is due to conjecture from your new age beliefs, your manmade religion, or some half-baked pseudo-scientific theory, right? Even if you’re earnestly trying to help with the greatest of intentions, you still can’t determine the truth. Be honest, the definition of what’s behind all of this is ultimately undefinable because we can’t prove it even exists, and if you can definitively say otherwise, that’s your souped-up inflated ego speaking trying to overcompensate for your smallish K2 meter. How about this, what if all paranormal events are facilitated by the energy of our own thoughts? Not saying they are, but it’s just as much a credible theory as the next. Just think, I could right-cross your intent over into the love of white light! That would be amazing. I’m not going down this path to run over psychic mediums, people with the gifts of discernment — some folks are more in tune to these energies than others. I’ve even been in situations where the intensity of such is palatable. But 100% of the time, even if you claim to be a medium or you’re a run-of-the-mill ghost jockey with a black T-shirt, the only person you can truly make a difference for is the living — the client, not the dead. You do not know if you’re actually communicating with the deceased even if it identifies itself to be the ghost of Aunt Patty May Twatterson who choked to death on a cigarette butt on Thanksgiving in 1984. Plus, the living are the much more likely explainable candidate to be the battery for paranormal activity. Whether it’s negative history, negative actions, sick or negative people — negativity tends to build up a charge in a space that lingers, maybe traversing time, dimensions? Maybe between the living and the dead, one facilitates the phenomena of the other? The possessed chicken or the demonic egg, you know, that ol’ chestnut. Or if a ghost is real, maybe its presence is there or it’s stuck at a location for a reason, whether it’s free will or because of karmic reasons due to attachment. Personally if you’re a religious person and if you think that God has lost track of a soul, and you have faith in the capability to cross that spirit over to heaven, makes me think your version of god is either irresponsible or just has some holy ADD when it comes to his creations. I guess it’s divine that you’re there to help the big guy out. Maybe our souls all need chipped or tagged? In the end, we don’t understand truly what the fuck we’re doing. We’re simply romanticizing the what-ifs and maybes. But sure, yes, please do take on residential cases, just be mindful not to lead the homeowner or whomever down the mystic rapids of a shit creek fantasy — the paranormal is weird enough.

Keep it as real as you can. That’s the stand of PARAHOLICS, I’m not saying don’t experiment, I’m saying definitely experiment 100%, but don’t act like you conclusively understand the conclusion like you have answers because the answers are gonna be different the next house over. You cannot scientifically prove any paranormal captures as validated evidence, you can only document your experience for yourself. If you determine there is something paranormal going on, and the client requests a removal, maybe having a conversation of gentle eviction with your new ethereal buddy will be enough to move it down the road? This seemed to help with our client, but only time will tell. Was it all a placebo? Only time will tell that too. Maybe not giving into thoughts of the haunting cut off the spirit’s ability to thrive in the environment; therefore the placebo of feeling relieved in believing it has moved on is a form of spirit resolution because you starved it to death? Thoughts are everything, and especially paramount in the paranormal. If your client requests clergy or a Shaman, if that’s her path, be supportive. Maybe that will work better for them, and maybe that’s all placebo, too. Once again only time will define. Hopefully your efforts culminate into bringing you and the people you try and comfort peace of mind. Experience makes a huge difference when trying to muddle through a “haunting,” but nobody can truly be an expert in any of this. After all, in the end, nurturing a personal sense of wonder is an amazing gift that so many people refuse to accept, and if your endeavors in researching the paranormal actually helps others, that’s a win — but don’t get caught up in ghost-weeds just to spin a narrative you can’t substantiate. I applaud anyone who pushes his own spirit to self discovery and understanding in the strange and the unknown. But just don’t jump on my approach because I won’t grunt juju outta my ass to cross over something I can’t prove is even there.

Capiche?

— Evel Ogilville

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